Some factors that may influence how individuals in a relationship treat one another could be a financial strain, lack of effective communication, or loss of a job. Many people lost in addiction play on the sympathy of an enforcer in hopes that they will give in to specific demands.ĭifficult Relationships: It can feel very frustrating when the dynamics of a relationship begin to change. Being an enforcer can feel heart-wrenching at times. This person may refuse to provide food, shelter, or other essential needs while the addict is using. The enforcer, on the other hand, is the person who decides to give tough love. While the gesture is usually with kind intent, it sends a message to the addict that their behavior is acceptable and that someone else will take care of their needs while they are abusing. During this time, they may pay bills or buy groceries and clothing for the addict. The enabler often holds out hope that the addict will change on their own. Many people find themselves in the role of an enabler or an enforcer. Loving someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol is difficult. Some never end up getting the help they need at all. Many addicts lose their jobs, homes, and families before they even consider seeking help. A person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, as mentioned above, may not be able to think beyond where their next high or drink is going to come from. No matter the cause of addiction, the effects are often detrimental. Substance Abuse: People abuse drugs and alcohol for different reasons. Some of the most common reasons tough love may need to be enforced include the following: We will discuss options for counseling and the cases where it may be beneficial later throughout this article.
Other situations may require the assistance of an outside resource, such as a counselor or therapist. Keep in mind, there are some situations that can be handled by simply making changes within your home and relationships.
In fact, tough love can be just as hard on the person giving it as the one who is receiving it.Īny time a person indulges in behavior that could cause harm to themselves or others, it may be necessary to practice tough love. Some people mistakenly believe that tough love only affects the people who are being restricted.
Yet, when people we care about engage in unsafe habits or practices, it often becomes necessary to remove certain conveniences for them to change. Tough love is not about being rude or alienating friends or loved ones. What happens, though, when love doesn’t seem to be enough? When someone you love keeps making the same mistakes, with often serious consequences? For many people, this is when tough love comes out.īy definition, tough love, according to Oxford Languages, is “the promotion of a person’s welfare, especially that of an addict, child, or criminal, by enforcing certain constraints on them, or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions the method of encouraging self-help by restricting the assistance of others.” Whether it’s parental love, romantic love, or friendship love, it is a vital part of human relationships.
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